Restricted Release Page 11

  “Now shut up and kiss me,” she said.

  I did. I kissed her when she raised her head. I stroked my tongue gently over her lower lip. Her mouth tasted sweet. Like sugary coffee and pastries. I sighed and she pinched my nipples gently so they stood at attention again.

  When I shivered she stopped. “Cold?”

  “No. I’m just…” I shrugged. “Turned-on.”

  Nadia smiled and it went right to my gut. I’d never had a woman have that effect on me. It was unnerving but intoxicating too. “Are you now?”

  I could only nod and bite my lip as she motioned for me to raise my arms. When I did so she pulled my sweater off and immediately dipped her head to cover the tip of my breast with her warm mouth. My pussy clenched and I sighed, wanting her mouth on me—her hands on me—everywhere.

  It was utterly unnerving when she moved away from me and said, “Tell me how you could be with a man who talked to you that way? Who made you feel that way?”

  There was no judgment in her words or her tone. But it still caught me off guard. I sighed, willing away my gut reaction to feel angry and attacked. Finally I calmed down and answered her simply.

  “After the wooing was done it started simply. Small stuff. Little things that I agreed with. He played on my insecurities. Then it grew and he began controlling me. But by then, he was in my head…like smoke. And when you’re around something enough, when you hear stuff enough…you start to believe it. It starts to sound right to you. So I just…floated.”

  “Floated?”

  “Floated along,” I whispered. “Like a corpse in a river.”

  She pushed me back and started to pull on my pants. I lifted my hips, excitement filling me as she tugged them down over my hipbones to expose the pale-pink waistband of my panties. She pulled those off too.

  “That’s a hell of an analogy,” Nadia said, dropping a tender kiss just below my bellybutton.

  “It’s fitting,” I sighed, pushing my fingers into her thick black hair. “I was dead.”

  “I’m supposed to make sure he sees us when we’re together,” Nadia said.

  I froze. “Are you? Do you think he’ll be mad?”

  I didn’t like the sick worry that filled my stomach when I thought of upsetting Matt. It was too close for comfort—too much like the old days.

  “Mad?” She cocked her head and studied me, her chin resting lightly on my abdomen. “No. Matt’s a good guy. He would not be mad. He’d be disappointed.” Nadia winked. “You know. Who wants to miss two hot women going at it?”

  “Fine. Move,” I said. Worry streaked across her face and I quickly tempered my tone. “Please.”

  She moved back and I rolled to my belly. I could feel her watching me. I liked the feel the room had with her in it. It felt comfortable and sunny despite the grayness of the day.

  “Can we get him on the computer?”

  “What? So he can see?” Nadia smiled.

  “Yep.”

  “Sure thing,” she said and rattled off his video chat handle. Then she texted and we waited. “I let him know.”

  When my computer screen lit up, I pulled up the video chat and punched in his username. It was only a moment or two before his handsome face appeared on the screen, his drawing desk scattered with pens and half-inked work behind him.

  “Ladies,” he said.

  “Matt,” we said in unison.

  “Now look, you,” Nadia said, getting close to the screen. “We were just starting something here.”

  “Really?” He smiled.

  “And we stopped mid-fun to call you. So you sit there and be a good boy. No talking and you are not in charge of this. Got it?”

  Matt held up his hands so we could see them. “Got it. I’m a silent observer.”

  I flushed when he looked at me. The heat in my chest and cheeks was startling. But when Nadia pushed me back flat so she could move her lips to my belly where they’d been before we stopped, I gave myself up to it. I let myself sink into the solace she was giving me and the sunny feeling she provided.

  When her lips finally settled on my pussy and she nudged her tongue between my slick folds to find my clit, I heard what I imagined to be a zipper on Matt’s end of our connection.

  A rush of fluid slid from me just as Nadia’s fingers pushed in, seeking entry. “Someone’s wet,” she whispered and sucked me harder than before.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  There was this moment of crossing over. Where I felt myself falling out of my discontent and fear and into the peace she offered. And the acceptance that Matt Millen had brought to the table.

  My body warmed as if I could feel his gaze on me as surely as I could feel hers. Nadia studied me after kissing my nether lips. She peeled back my outer lips and stroked small sections of my skin with her fingertips, her tongue. All the while she avoided my clitoris so that I was on the verge of tears with need.

  But I didn’t beg. Not yet. I sifted her dark hair through my fingers, loving the way it grabbed and held the meager light in my room. When she slid a slim finger into my pussy, my hips bumped up and my stomach flexed.

  I heard Matt exhale and resisted the urge to turn and look at him.

  “Tell her she’s beautiful,” Nadia said, making me struggle with confusion.

  “She is beautiful,” Matt said and I realized she’d been addressing him.

  “But she needs to know. Because she ran into…him.” Nadia added a second finger to the first and she curled her fingertips just enough to cause a flood of heat through my pelvis and my limbs. My grip on her hair tightened and Nadia growled. My skin raced with tingles and I watched her dart out her pink,pink tongue to taste me again.

  “Ah, the him that should have no power over such an amazing, beautiful woman?” I could hear the almost raspy sound of Matt touching himself as he watched us. My mind called up the vibrant, evocative image of him in that moment of orgasm. How hard his body became when he peaked. How beautiful he was.

  And he thought the same of me. It was humbling.

  Nadia grunted, nodded toward the screen, pushed a third finger into me. She covered my pussy with her plump lips and sucked gently. All of her mouth tugged at all of my sex and I sighed with the pleasure that settled over me like a blanket.

  “Don’t listen to poison people, Clara,” Matt said.

  Nadia had started a slow and sensual thrusting of her fingers into me. My body, mesmerized by her—the way she touched me—gripped up tight. She pushed her thumb to my clitoris as she finger-fucked me to the point of tears. Her lips slid along my skin, brushing over my rib cage, between my breasts and then over to find my nipple briefly. All too briefly, because it prompted a sob from me, how fast she was there and then gone.

  “You are so much more than what you have in your head,” he said. His hand was making an urgent sound against his skin. His voice had gone a bit breathy, a bit stretched thin. I thought if I looked at him I would see the pulse in his neck, the urgency in his monologue.

  “You are,” Nadia agreed. “So much more.”

  “No,” I said and the tears that tracked down my cheeks seemed acidic. Hot enough to burn my skin.

  “Yes,” she said and thrust her fingers into me high and hard. She crushed her body down on mine, breast-to-breast, belly-to-belly, her fingers invading me and taking me. Pushing me under into pleasure I somehow did not think I deserved.

  When she kissed me it was so fucking sweet. So perfect and brilliant I could only do one thing. I gave in to her kiss and her touch and I came, shaking under her as those traitorous tears streaked back from my eyes to wend through my hair.

  “Good girl.”

  Matt blew out a huge breath and I turned to see him smile once and then reach out toward the screen. “I think this time I’ll leave you two alone.”

  Then he winked out and was gone.

  “What was that?” I asked her.

  “I think it’s called an orgasm,” Nadia said kissing me again.

  My heart
still banged riotously. She put her hand over it to feel me.

  “Funny.” I traced her lower lip with my thumb, marveling at the petal-pink color of her mouth without makeup.

  “You mean why did he leave us?”

  “Yes.” I pushed more firmly to her mouth and she sucked my fingertip in. The feel of her tongue on my skin pounded through me, a dull bang and thud in my cunt.

  I wanted more.

  “I think he thought we’d be better off this time alone. Maybe he sees…something.”

  “Like what?” I pushed another fingertip into her mouth. She sucked and I felt the draw from finger to womb.

  “Like a connection maybe.”

  Pulling my finger free, I kissed her. It was tentative at first. Possibly the first time I had initiated the kiss between us, I truly could not remember. The last few days had been a blur to me—body, mind and soul. A stunned but pleasant confusion had resulted.

  “Maybe,” I said. I kissed her harder, driving my lips against her lips. Her tongue darted out to nudge mine and I pushed my hands back into her thick hair. I liked the feel of clutching it there, close to the scalp and holding her down for my kiss.

  Somewhere in this all, I had moved so that I was over her. I now pressed my body down on Nadia. Feeling her heartbeat, caged and wild, against my chest.

  “You’re a good kisser,” she murmured.

  I ignored the compliment and tangled with her sweater to get it off. Her sports bra was a nightmare but finally I had my hands on her. My fingers curling into her dark skin, my lips tasting salt and sweet and floral notes on her flesh. I licked her from nipple to nipple, using my rigid tongue to draw an invisible slick line across the caramel landscape of her body.

  “Push your legs wide, push them,” I said. There was a boldness in my voice I did not recognize. And I didn’t pause to study it. That could wait for later.

  She did it. Spread her legs wide for me as I kissed down her body and pulled off her pants and panties. I dipped my tongue into the shallow divot of her navel, dragged it over the bold bumps of her hipbones. I kissed shyly over her mound, smelling the tangy musk of her sex. She made a sound that caused my throat to tickle and rested a gentle hand on the back of my head. Nadia did not urge me in any way, she just left her hand there, touching me.

  It was my own internal urgency that won. Wanting to taste her. There. Wanting to know that sweet and heady scent from somewhere other than my own masturbating fingers. I spread her outer lips wide, taking in the pink and red and flushed nuances of her pussy. After admiring the sweet little knot of her clitoris, I touched my tongue to it and her hips shot up like I’d burned her.

  She was sensitive and I was new. So I simply did my best. Licking and sucking and nibbling on Nadia the way she had me. Doing to her body all the things I enjoyed being done to mine.

  I pressed my finger to the slippery split of her and teased that flesh so that she tossed her head. “Jesus, you’re killing me,” she whispered. But she laughed and my heart went light. I felt clean inside admiring the joy I was causing. The physical pleasure of my intimate contact with her.

  “Sorry,” I whispered, forcing my fingers into her, feeling the slippery tight grip of her cunt. The textured slickness of her internal muscles. The strength she held in this unseen, velveteen place. Her body held on to me snugly and I started to thrust.

  I felt her grow tighter and then tighter still. She laughed again as I pushed my lips back to her pussy and then sucked her small, hard clit into my mouth. “It’s okay,” she said. “Keep killing me.”

  Instinct was all I had. That and the heady scent of her that surrounded me and dulled my senses with lust. My tongue darted between every fold, explored every silken pink bit of her flesh. I pulled my fingers free and dipped the tip of my tongue into her so that she pulled my hair. She tugged hard enough to paint streaks of white in my vision and I remembered her strap-on. I wished I had it. At that moment, the thought of pinning down the stunning Nadia and fucking her was enough to bring a crashing wave of want down over me.

  “I want you to come,” I said softly. I sucked her clit again, rubbing the rigid tip of my tongue to her after I drew on her. Nadia’s hips undulated; she gripped tight to me with one hand, tight to my pretty blue sheets with the other.

  “We’re on the same page then.”

  “Soon,” I said. “Soon. I want to taste it. What you taste like when you come.”

  Men are salty and bleachy and pungent. What would she be? Musky with a hint of citrus? Flowery and fruity and rich? I had no idea and I wanted to know.

  “I don’t think that will be a problem,” Nadia said.

  When I looked up at her, she brushed her fingers over my cheekbone. Her touch inspired a shiver through me. I splayed my fingers on her thighs, pushed her down, covered her pussy with my mouth and tongued her salty-sweet skin until I felt her body go rigid and she thrust her hips up to meet me. When she came, I lapped at the fragrant juices she offered. I licked every drop from her skin. She tasted foreign and yet familiar. I could taste my own orgasms in her release.

  Her heartbeat thudded through her and when I pressed my forehead to the smooth skin above her sex, I felt it vibrate through me. She toyed with a strand of my hair while I caught my breath and then said softly, “So was that the first…”

  “Time I went down on a girl?” I grinned against her leg. Her skin smooth, soft beneath my cheek.

  “Yeah. Was it?”

  “It was,” I confirmed. When I looked up at her, she looked pleased. And a little orgasm-drunk. “Is that okay?”

  “Okay?” she laughed. “It’s fucking phenomenal.”

  * * * * *

  “You do realize that we are the frat-boy cliché wet dream right now?” I asked her, licking chocolate off my fingers.

  Nadia grunted and continued to paint my toenails a striking shade of purplish-mauve. “Whatevs.”

  “In our underpants, painting each other’s nails, eating in bed.”

  Her dark eyes regarded me, looking bottomless and seductive in the low light. “That’s fine by me. And don’t forget the fucking part.”

  “Oh, yeah. The fucking part.”

  I licked the last bit of chocolate off my fingertip. Somehow Nadia had found a way to make S’mores out of my pantry ingredients. And they’d been good. She’d wooed me into eating it with a simple “Everyone needs a bit of sugar after a good lay.” So I’d eaten it.

  The sticky sweetness of the marshmallow on my tongue was glorious, until my still-fragile mind supplied me with a vivid image of Richard. Then a flood of bitterness filled my mouth. I swallowed hard, reflexively, to keep it at bay. When she curled her hand against my skin and squeezed my ankle, the feeling passed.

  “Done,” she said, winking. I had a feeling Nadia knew where I’d just gone mentally and she wasn’t going to let me go there again. “You gonna do me now?”

  “I thought I just had.”

  “Har har!” Nadia grinned and that flash of gorgeous, confident woman made me both happy and envious. It was so hard for me to believe that she had ever been as damaged as me. And it made me wonder if I could ever be as strong as she.

  I didn’t believe I could.

  Her phone burbled and she stuck her feet at me even as she grabbed it and slid it open to read the message.

  “What color?” I asked. I knew who had just texted her. It made me feel warm straight up through the core of me.

  “Surprise me.”

  Just to be a brat, I reached into the big bucket of nail polish I kept by my bedroom desk and pulled out a bottle of bright-yellow lacquer.

  Nadia didn’t bat a lash. Her fingers flew over the tiny keys and then she slid the phone shut and tossed it to the side.

  “What did he want?” I shook the bottle, cracked the lid and started painting. Holding her slim foot. Even her feet were pretty. I didn’t know if I wanted to be Nadia or fuck her again.

  The strap-on came back into my head and I shook the thought
off.

  “Who?” She chuckled.

  “Matt. Duh. I knew who it was.”

  “He wanted to know how you were.” She wiggled her toes in my hand and laughed when I growled.

  “Stay still.” I put an even coat of vibrant sunshine-yellow on her second and third toenails. “And did he really? Does he really just want to know how I am?”

  She stared at me, concerned. “Yes. That’s all he wants. Why?”

  I shrugged. A great bubbling well of fear had started in my center and my stomach hurt from it. Why was I upset? Why was I suspicious? I painted her pinky toe and pushed away the vivid memory of vomiting in that dirty alley just hours before.

  “I don’t know. Just curious.”

  “He was worried about you, Clara. Is that very hard for you to understand?”

  Blunt Clara from the day I met Matt seemed to have reappeared because I moved to her other foot and started painting. “Yes,” I said. “No one is as good as that. As he is. Or as good as he seems.”

  Was that what I was so nervous about? That he wasn’t possibly as good as he seemed. Yes, I realized, it was.

  “Matt is. Trust me on this.”

  “Then why don’t you want him?” I bit my lip. Where had that come from? And right on the tail end of my quickly blurted words was another stab of what felt like jealousy. Or even hurt.

  She waited a beat before answering, simply watching me. When she put her hand on mine I actually flinched. I’d gone from happy to upset in ten seconds. How embarrassing.

  “Because he’s a friend and we’ve been friends for so long we decided to keep it that way. And I tend to like the ladies more than the gents and…” She shrugged. “Our chemistry doesn’t seem to spark for love or even long-term lust. He’s like my best friend mixed with my brother mixed with a stand-in father figure. And he likes you, Clara…”

  I blinked, precariously close to crying, I realized. Fuck.

  “Oh. Fine. That’s fine.”

  “Do we want it to be fine?” she asked, picking at my bedspread. I’d made her cautious. It made me feel bad.