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  And then she licked a line of fire along my inner thigh before moving to the other one. Nadia purred, sounding amused, as she swept her tongue along my outer lips and then bit the plump folds gently before moving back down my thighs. My clit thumped merrily, making me half crazy and damn near weepy.

  I wiggled and jostled in my seat, but she kept my thighs pinned with her arms. “Easy,” she whispered. She insinuated her tongue between my folds, getting closer and closer with wet delicacy to where I needed her.

  “Nadia…” It was a strangled plea and I heard her chuckle. A rumble worked up through me and made all the need and want and frustration worse. Her fingers tickled at my kneecaps, making me writhe a little more.

  “You rang?” She looked up and slipped one hand between my legs and pressed a single finger to my clit. It was like she’d electrocuted me. I jumped so hard and made a noise of pure blissful frustration.

  “I…please,” I stuttered.

  “Well, you have been good. You ate your date…” Again she chuckled. “And your sweets. If you’d just say ‘Lick my pussy, Nadia,’ I think we can move forward.”

  My tongue was frozen. I always came on blunt and bold as a cover. I had been brazen and almost rude when I met Matt. A lot of it was just protection—a wall of I-don’t-fucking-care in the face of some strangers. But here and now I felt more naked than naked. Nude and stripped bare on so many levels. I willed my tongue to move and she watched me.

  Her finger pressed me again and I shivered, my nipples puckering into even harder pebbles of pink flesh. “You can do it,” she said, laying a kiss on my mound. The cupcake quivered, sitting there on my skin, untouched.

  “Lick my pussy…Nadia…” And then I added, “Please…”

  I barely had time to inhale before she moved the half-eaten confection to my bellybutton and then delved back between the slickening folds of my pussy lips. She pushed her nose and her mouth to me like she wanted to inhale me right into herself, her tongue a scorching swipe of wetness on my soaked opening and then higher to reach the swollen knot of my clitoris.

  I almost came but staved it off, curling my toes to the hardwood floor and willing my body to calm. She latched her mouth over my pussy fully, sucking gently, gently…until her tongue found the center of my desire and nudged that tiny organ until I was thrashing against the chair and the bonds and yes, even her. I came with a huge inhalation. Too shocked by the bigness of it to make any noise at all. My silence in that moment of pleasure felt deafening.

  But she didn’t let me rest. Her fingers pushed my pussy open, my body blossomed for her. Nadia dipped a finger, a second, a third into me and then found my G-spot. She brushed her fingers over it, thrusting deep and curling against it so that my heart started to quicken. Her mouth settled on me again and my hips moved up automatically, seeking her out, wanting that release.

  “Come on, sunshine,” she said, dark eyes on me, as she stuck out her rigid tongue and nudged my clit. I gasped, her fingers curled, it was all a surreal but perfectly timed dance as the half-eaten cupcake shook on my stomach with every move I made. Miraculously it had not rolled off.

  Her lips traveled my hipbones and my thighs. She kissed my knees and my flanks and the small rounded part of my stomach below the cake. She did all of that agonizingly slow, maddeningly soft, as her fingers continued to drive into me with great deliberation.

  “Oh…” I sighed, clenching my sex up around her fingers. I clenched and clenched and clenched to trap the friction, to gather the goodness of her touch.

  “That’s it,” she said, laughing. And finally she put her mouth back on me. Drawing on me. Sucking.

  I came a second time, shaking hard enough to dislodge the cupcake so it rolled to the side of me and came to rest on the chair.

  Nadia plucked it up and bit into it, rolling her eyes. “Sweets after the sweet. Perfect.”

  My breath was a runaway thing in my lungs. I was panting and my heart jumped so hard I could see it if I looked at my breast.

  “Now…” she said, picking up her cell and sliding it open. “Do you want to trust me some more, strong little Clara?”

  I nodded. I had no idea what she meant but I nodded. I’d do anything for her right now. And I trusted her so yes. I would trust her some more.

  * * * * *

  I thought she’d untie me. I really did. Instead she stood by my front door, buck-naked but for those damned striped socks, and I couldn’t see her. When the doorbell rang, I jumped. A slow syrupy ribbon of dread ran through me. Oh God…

  Someone was here. Someone else. And I was bound to my reading chair by a puffy pink scarf, face and pussy flushed from sex. I probably smelled head to toe of sex. I probably looked like a hot mess. I squirmed, saying, “Nadia, Nadia, Nadia…” over and over again.

  But Nadia ignored me.

  I heard my needed-to-be-oiled front door. I heard footsteps on the doorstep. The sound was heavy and masculine. My heart dropped, leaving me cold and panicky.

  “Hi, Clara,” Matt said, coming around the high back of my chair. “You okay that I’m here?”

  Two things happened at once. I felt a great rush of relief but it was followed quickly by spiking anxiety. I was so glad to see him and yet horrified too.

  I twisted in my seat, trying mindlessly to free myself. But I saw his eyes taking it all in, glazing a bit from arousal, watching my breasts shift and my thighs tense and he just stood there smiling that smile.

  I froze. I was a porn display. He was watching me strapped there naked, probably covered in cupcake crumbs. I wanted the bottom of my chair to open wide and swallow me up like in a horror movie. I wanted to slide into my chair and be gone, baby, gone. Maybe nothing left but the remainders of my funny pink bondage scarf.

  “Hi,” I managed though my mouth felt dry as the desert.

  He cocked his head, dark eyes roaming my body. I wanted in that moment for him to push his mouth between my thighs. I wanted to feel the stubble I was almost positive was on his face and I knew for a fact was on his scalp. I wanted the rough-velvet slide of his tongue on my clit and to have him buried three fingers deep in my willing cunt. I wanted him to slide into me on a barely controlled thrust and fuck me while pretty Nadia watched.

  I swallowed again as he said, “You never did answer my question. Are you okay with me being here?”

  I shrugged, my breasts moving freely—funny how I was only aware of that now that he was staring at me.

  Nadia stood behind him watching.

  “Do you want me to leave?” He turned and my stomach dropped fast, my blood leaping.

  “No, no!” I arched forward against my bonds. Damn, she’d done a good job of tying me down.

  “And there is our answer,” Nadia said.

  I hadn’t known how much I wanted him there until he’d turned to go. Despite feeling beyond naked and pretty much embarrassed out of my head, I had a crawling need to be in the same room with Matt.

  She sidled up behind him and I watched her, my face growing hot. She melded her body—the body that had just been melded to mine—against him. Her hands sliding restlessly over his broad chest, down his belly. Her fingers tickled along his jeans and then she cupped his cock.

  Her eyes never left me. His eyes never left me.

  “I thought after our fun tonight…” Nadia said over his shoulder, her face and dark hair peeking out from behind him. “That I could go for some cock.”

  There was a war in my gut. I’d had her. I wanted him. But the other part of me—the part of me that liked to starve myself and deny myself and abuse myself—wanted to see them together. To feel that biting sting of jealousy and betrayal. To see the pretty people fucking while I sat here helpless, bound to my chair.

  Because I did not have to act or even choose not to act if I was strapped in a chair unable to move. It was beyond my control. Some sick part of me always desired the excuse that it was out of my control.

  It was easier if I was passive. It was easy to let thi
ngs happen. Even when they hurt.

  “It’s up to you,” Matt said.

  His face serious, his stance easy. I believed him. I believed that if I said no he’d turn and walk out.

  I didn’t trust my mouth. If I opened it, I might say it all aloud. No, no, I want you. I want her. I want you both. You’re all mine. Don’t do it. Do me, just me…only me…

  Instead I simply inclined my head in a brisk nod and once again found myself shifting in my seat. Nadia went right to work, still in nothing but the perky striped socks. I tried to inhale as she pulled down the zipper of his hoodie and peeled it off. Matt reached back, snagging the back of his t-shirt and he yanked it over his head. Both pieces of clothing hit the floor and he found me again with his gaze as his friend, a woman who’d been in his life way longer than me, pulled the button fly of his jeans wide and started to push his pants down.

  I chewed my lip, feeling the familiar thick beat of arousal between my legs. In the back of my mind all that was sounding was a steady mantra IwanthimIwanthimIwanthimIwanthim…

  When she pushed his boxer shorts down I held my breath. But when she took his cock in her hand and started a long lazy stroke along his shaft, I exhaled slowly. All the while, even when his eyelids flickered like he wanted to shut his eyes, his gaze stayed trained on me.

  I watched her hand, sliding up and down his length and jerking him off. He gave in to it after a moment, watching me, staring at my breasts, my belly, my thighs. The way I was shaking. She was giving him pleasure but he was utterly attached to me. I could feel it as surely as I had felt Nadia’s mouth on me.

  Nadia was watching me too. Instead of feeling studied and persecuted, I somehow felt adored. I caught myself testing my bonds without realizing I was doing it. I twisted and stretched in my chair as she made her way around to the front of him. She let her legs fall open a bit, making sure I could see as she traced her outer lips with the tip of his cock. Matt’s glans was blushing with blood and arousal and when she touched it to her lower pout, his eyelids drifted down and then bounced right back up.

  Again I felt it. That war within. Part of me saying yes, yes! Part of me saying no.

  Nadia spared me one more glance and Matt followed suit. I swallowed hard and made myself do it. A single nod. Go ahead, I said without saying it. Fuck in front of me.

  She dropped to her knees and perched her elbows on my ottoman and pushed her ass up into the air. Angled just so, I could see her and I could see him and they could both keep their eyes on me. Matt went slowly to his knees.

  Deep down I knew he meant to give me a window of opportunity to change my mind. This exercise in restrictions for us was to benefit me. To help me see where I was and what I wanted and have him in my life honestly. With no fear or shame or any of the other bullshit I’d been dragging around like lead blocks on a leash.

  I watched, stilling my gut, trying to still my pounding heart. He drove into her finally, giving in to the urges of his need. Giving in to what his body wanted. It broke my heart and turned me on. It hurt and felt spectacular. It was arousing beyond my wildest dreams and yet I wanted to shut my eyes. I didn’t. I watched him fuck her. Long lazy thrusts, his fingers and his thumbs pressing pale crescent moons into her skin. Her pretty dark skin.

  Fluid that told the tale of what my body felt at this turn of events slid from me, and my hips arched up as if I could take him into my body from where I sat. I felt him in me as he’d been the last time we’d been together. I felt Nadia’s mouth on me as it had been not even a half hour before. I tasted semen and pussy and cupcakes and frustration on my tongue vividly. All phantom flavors that played across my taste buds as he screwed the lovely Nadia.

  A sob tried to rip up out of me and I swallowed it down. My sex was thick and heavy with need. My lower lips plump with blood. More of my juices graced my upper thighs, and my nipples turned to painful pink points as he drove home. Her fingers curled into the ottoman, her eyes shut in pleasure, her mouth tight with tension as her body started to bow because she was going to come. Lucky, lucky Nadia.

  He slowed a bit, watched me intently. His eyes darting from breast to pussy to face. Back to my cunt his gaze went. I saw his face change just a hint as he moved into her. Nadia sighed, bucked back against him. She was close. Being a new lover did not keep me from recognizing her tells already. Matt licked his lips and I knew he could see my want of him from there. How badly I wished he were doing those things to me. I let my legs fall open even more, letting him get a clearer view of my ripe, wet cunt. I had no doubt that I was swollen and rosy, my pout fat with arousal.

  I did not feel ugly or dirty in that moment, I felt wanton. Sexy and alive and voracious. I made a sound, thrashed like he was touching me. And then he growled.

  Matt, still looking only at me, smacked Nadia on the ass once, hard, rocking her and she came, her sweet-honey voice filling my front room and my head.

  Matt pulled free of her, jerked once, twice, three times on his cock and then came. A milky-white zigzag decorated Nadia’s inviting smooth skin. I clenched my internal muscles, wishing that someone had thought to untie at least one of my hands so I could get off too.

  But oddly I also savored the denial of my pleasure.

  I shivered with my pent-up lust. My teeth started to chatter and my throat went tight and I realized I was about to cry. I saw them both through a blur of falling tears. They moved fast.

  They seemed to say in unison, “Clara…”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Nadia began to untie me and my body bucked, seemingly all on its own. “Don’t, don’t!” I said as if she were burning me.

  She stilled, dark eyes growing wide. She moved to brush my hair back and I tossed my head to keep from being touched. “Don’t,” I whispered again.

  “Clara,” she said, squatting down so we were eye-to-eye, me still bound. “Are you angry at me?”

  “No,” I said. And I meant it. But I couldn’t have her touch me just now. Not yet. Not now.

  She nodded, put her hands up as if I were holding a gun on her. “Okay. I’ll…”

  Matt stepped forward as Nadia let herself fade into the background. I heard her pull her jeans on and noticed oddly that I was trembling. A fine shiver had rooted in me and my whole body vibrated with it.

  “May I untie you, Clara?” Matt asked. He’d made no move to touch me or the pink scarf.

  “Not yet,” I said. My eyes darted in Nadia’s direction. In my peripheral vision I saw she was nearly dressed.

  He pulled on his jeans and buttoned them and then went to her, his voice audible but so low I couldn’t make out the words. And then Nadia was talking to me again softly. I noticed her voice was sad.

  “I’m not mad,” I said again.

  “Good. I’m sorry if we…I’m sorry you’re upset,” she said. “I’m going to go. And I won’t come back unless you call me.”

  She didn’t touch me, just spared me one more look and then was gone.

  Another sob flew past my lips. It was a great burst of sound that echoed the weirdness I felt deep inside. My soul felt bruised, my body alert but beat down. What a fucking mess.

  “Now?” Matt asked, squatting in front of me.

  I nodded, not trusting words. I’d barely managed to calm myself enough to focus. Transfixed, I watched his thick fingers work the two heavy knots that had grown tighter through the night. As I had moved and pulled, the clumsy fat knots Nadia had tied became tighter. Leaner, meaner knots that needed a bit more finesse to undo.

  “Oh God, I have her scarf. It’s cold out,” I gasped, pulling my right wrist free and rubbing the smooth red lines on my skin.

  “I’ve known Nadia forever. I don’t think she’s going to be felled by a lack of a scarf.”

  I quivered at that remark. Something in me hated that he had known Nadia forever. And another part of me wished I had known her forever.

  Matt undid the second knot and I sat there, bare-ass naked in my reading chair, rubbing my skin.
On the TV an old vampire movie played. The original of a recent remake if I wasn’t mistaken.

  I muttered something and heard myself as I said it. “Remakes are never as good as originals.”

  Then I started to cry again. What the fuck was wrong with me? What the bloody hell was I doing?

  Matt glanced at the TV and then pushed my bangs back, stroking my forehead, my cheekbones. “Is that what you think?”

  I blinked. “What?”

  “Is this because I’ve known Nadia forever and I just got to know you? Am in fact still learning about you?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  But was that true? Maybe that was exactly what was wrong in my crazy head.

  He put out his hand and I stood. My legs shook and threatened to dump me but then righted themselves. His big hand splayed on my belly and the other my back as if I were some fragile thing he needed to protect. I forced myself to throw my shoulders back and breathe. I made myself turn and break from his touch so I could grab the throw on the back of the chair. I wrapped myself in it and tried to banish the shivers.

  Matt kissed my forehead and I wanted to chuck all the mindfuckery and give in to what I truly wanted. Him. To be with him. To see where this thing between us went, fuck my twisted bundle of terror.

  Instead I said, “How’s your book coming?”

  He cocked his head. “Good. I’m almost done with the one. I’m wrapping up the last panels as we speak. I actually have to do a signing at the local place…”

  “Blast-off Books?”

  He grinned. “How did you know?”

  I shrugged, feeling more in control. “It’s the only comic book store within a thirty-mile radius. And they love to set up locals. I’ve actually gone to release days there.”

  He looked surprised but didn’t say anything.

  “You know…back when…I went with Richard—a friend of his had a release. It wasn’t a comic book. It was a…” I sighed.