sommer marsden learning to drown-CALIBRE Page 18

  “Not anymore,” I said.

  I didn’t add. At least not with you. Self preservation told me that would be bad. He squeezed again, painfully heart and my heart flip-flopped in my chest. “Oh, sure it is. We’ll rekindle that for you, okay? I’ll tie you up and make all your dirty fantasies come true. I’ve had time to think about it, after all.”

  I winced at his squeezing fingers and wished I had yelled. Wished I’d hit any or all the buttons on my phone. Wished, wished, wished I hadn’t been sick and that Lucas and I were out hiking when Damien showed up.

  I shook my head, looked out the window, stayed silent. I didn’t know what to say so maybe if I was quiet and tried to focus I could figure this out. Damien wouldn’t really hurt me, would he?

  * * * *

  The phone rang again and Lucas growled, dropped the axe and flipped the phone open. “What do you want, little brother?”

  “Is he there? Did he come? Do you need help? I’m on my way–”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell are you talking about, Matthew?”

  Matty went silent. Lucas heard traffic and the engine of Matthew’s beast of a truck. He heard his brother’s breath tearing in and out and he felt a spark of real fear. Matthew rarely got flustered, never got upset and never ever got scared. He sounded like he was currently all of the above.

  “Where is Ember?” he asked, softly. Lucas nearly flinched at the tone. “Please say she’s sitting right there where you can see her.”

  “I…she’s in the bedroom. She came down with a fever and I put her to bed.”

  “Fuck. Go check her!” Matthew’s voice left no room for argument and Lucas’s feet were already moving through the snow toward the house.

  Still he said “She’s fine. I just put her in there like a half an hour ago. I put her to bed after giving her some meds and then came out to chop wood. What’s going on?”

  “That guy. Derrick? Dante?”

  “Damien,” Lucas said, his fingers and toes feeling numb all the sudden, and not from the cold. “What about him?”

  “He found her from the GPS in her damn phone. He had it figured. He came here first and I nearly fed him his own shoes for supper. But the pussy ran off and hopped in some piece of crap sports car. But if you have the phone and the phone is on…”

  “Fuck,” Lucas hissed. How stupid was he. Not only did he have the phone, he’d given Ember the phone. A way of showing her that he needed to be here because she wanted to. A way of showing her that he trusted her, cared. He cared so much he might as well have strapped a god damned strobe light to her and put a big giant arrow over her head that said EX GIRLFRIEND HERE.

  His feet slipped and his body swerved on the wet snow. He couldn’t remember feeling more useless and frustrated. Or more like he was moving in slow motion when all he wanted in the world was to go faster. In his mind’s eye he tucked her in and kissed her forehead. The door to the patio had been locked. Hadn’t it? He replayed his time outside, remembering the distant sound of a motor, wondering about it but not being concerned. The access road led to a few cabins. It wasn’t so unusual to hear a random vehicle here or there. And there was a state park not far off and they used the same access road. So park workers could be found on this byway especially when it snowed.

  “But it was him. You fucking ass, it was him!” he said to himself and literally slid over the threshold to the front door.

  “So?” Matthew's voice hissed from the phone. “Is she there?”

  Lucas had nearly forgotten that he was even holding the cell. “Wait. Hold on. I’m going.” His boots stuttered on the wood floor almost dumping him on his ass. Then he rounded the corner, threw open the door and breathed a sigh of relief. She was there. Under the covers. Then his eyes adjusted to the dim light and he saw the corners of the pillow cases. Saw the covers tossed back in different spots. And most importantly, felt the cold stab of winter air through the barely cracked patio door.

  “He’s got her, Matty. He’s got her. That motherfucker.”

  “I’ll call you back,” Matty said and hung up.

  Lucas wanted to throw the phone but knew he’d need it. Instead he kicked one of Ember's sexy boots hard. It sailed across the room and hit the side window. “Fuck.” He followed the footprints out the door down the patio and to the side yard. When he saw some drag marks he knew that Ember had been trying to stay. As sick as she was, she’d still made the effort.

  Does he even know she’s sick? And what are his plans? Abduction? For real or does he think this is all part of her game? His throat was threatening to close with rage. He raced back through the house, hitting Matthew on speed dial.

  “Hey, I’ll call you ba—”

  “Call Marcus!”

  “Back. Because I’m on the phone with Marcus. He’s running her info. We’ll contact the cell phone provider. Hopefully he can talk some GPS info out of them. Or something.”

  “Or something,” Lucas said. “I’m headed to the city. Call me when you know. And tell Marcus that he'd better help her. It better, for goddamn once, pay off to be so tight with a cop.”

  “Got it.”

  He nearly wiped out his truck pulling out of the drive and barreling down to the access road. If that shit did anything at all to her, he’s have his guts for garters. That man would know pain like he’d never known. He hit seventy before he was on the main road. Once he was on a semi-cleared road that plows had touched he hit ninety. Maybe he could just catch up with them. Pull them off, beat the merry hell out of Damien, that dick. His knuckles were white, his heart raced. All he could think of was her whispering I love you. Of tucking her in and her feverish face. Of her asking him what he was waiting for. And pulling her down slowly, ever so slowly onto his lap and fucking her deep. Watching her face. Letting himself for that perfect moment in time admit to himself that he loved her.

  “But you didn’t admit it to her, yet.”

  He pushed the truck to ninety-five.

  * * * *

  Damien pulled off when I said it again. “I have to pee. I have to pee, I have to pee, I have to pee!” My voice was weak but determined and Damien never had had much patience for that kind of stuff. He snapped pretty easily, which was why I knew he would not be a good dad. One temper tantrum and he’d pack his bags and leave.

  “Fine! Jesus Christ, Ember. Shut up. I'll pull over and you can pee. I need gas anyway. But hey–” He grabbed my arm, grinning in a way that made my stomach feel cold. “No running. I know what you like. I can give it to you. Hard. Painful if you need be.”

  I wondered briefly if he’d snapped, but my head weighed about a thousand pounds and I was so tired the roots of my hair hurt. I nodded. “I won’t.” All I was praying for in the world was a restroom with two exits that was within staggering distance of a phone or a person or a policeman.

  “Good girl.” He pulled into a small service station set in the middle of nowhere. Two pumps, a small office, a garage with one bay open. The restroom was clearly marked and on the side of the building. One door. Maybe there was a phone…

  Damien pulled up to the door and said “Get out. I’ll be right there.” He pointed to the first pump that was only about thirty feet from the restroom. “And I’ll be watching.”

  I flinched and nodded. When push came to shove I didn’t know if he’d actually hurt me. He’d never done so before. But one of the small character flaws of Damien was his brittle pride. It was the only time I’d seen him be irrational or cruel. Once in a heated argument, when I’d made some jibe about his sexual prowess, he’d hit me. Not as part of a game. Not as domination. In pure anger and with the intent of hurting me. This was the only other time I’d seen that side of him.

  It scared me.

  The restroom was basically a concrete cell. One small window set high in the wall near the ceiling that even a cat would have trouble fitting through. One filthy stall. No phone. No nothing. I locked the door and waited. All I could think to do was stall. Stall and hope that Luc
as would notice I was missing and come after me.

  Chapter 29

  I stared at myself in the mirror, trying too hard to think straight. My eyes were glassy, my face pale but for twin spots of heat on my cheeks. “Think, Em. Think for god’s sake.” What would Lucas do? What would he expect of me? Or better yet, what would he instruct me to do?

  My eyes darted around the dim room. There was no way in hell, even after the most extreme diet in the world, would I fit out that window. And even if I could, I didn’t have the strength to get up to the window. There was nothing to stand on, the toilet was too far away and I could not climb a sheer concrete wall. Spiderman I wasn’t. “Shit, shit, shit.”

  I faced the mirror again and looked for a weapon. Nothing. There wasn’t even a bar of soap. There were rust stains in the ancient sink and a leak underneath that had slowly spread across the nasty grey floor. I stared at the door. One hook and eye lock. Wouldn’t keep Damien out for long if he wanted to come in. On the back was a dry erase schedule for cleaning the bathroom. “That’s rich,” I snorted. “This bathroom hasn’t been cleaned since I was in diapers.”

  My eyes finally noticed a bulge in the woefully neglected sheet of laminated paper and I reached out and plucked pen from behind the sheet. My throat was now full of my wildly thumping heart. I prayed the universe would not be cruel.

  “Please work. Please, please, please work. Please God don’t let it be dried out. Oh, dear sweet Jesus,” I was mumbling and muttering like a crazy woman. I ripped the cap off with weak– almost numb–fingers and touched the pen to the tip of my finger. It left a wet black mark the size of a freckle. I nearly wept.

  The door rattled in its jam and I yelped. “Come on, woman! Don’t make me come in there!”

  “I’m coming! I’m coming!” I screamed.

  I heard another voice, I thought and scurried into the stall and wrote a hasty note. Taken against my will. Please get help! And then the license plate of Damien’s car. I started to cry when I realized that I loved Lucas but didn’t even know his phone number. I could never have called him in the first place. I’d been with him since I met him with no reason to call him on the phone. More banging and then that voice again.

  I tucked the note into the toilet paper on the existing roll–thank god there was some–and hoped the next woman who used the facilities saw it and took it to heart. Then I hurried to unlock the door.

  A frowning gray haired woman stood there tapping her foot. “Your fiancé is rude,” she said.

  “I’m sorry. Make sure you check for toilet paper,” I said softly and Damien stared at me.

  She humphed and hurried in. “What the fuck was that about? Check for toilet paper?”

  “Women’s rooms always have like…three squares,” I said and rolled my eyes. Hoping he believed me. Hoping he didn’t check. Hoping the grumpy old lady didn’t wipe her ass with my note for help.

  * * * *

  “Talk to me,” Lucas said when the phone rang.

  “We got a hold of the provider. They said the GPS indicated on the Beltway headed this way. He’s not very bright, Bro.”

  “Her ex boyfriend?”

  “Yeah, sadly he seems like he’d be an okay guy normally. A bit dull and not too quick on the uptake. But he was pissed, that irrational kind of pissed that good quiet guys get when they’ve suffered one too many indignities.”

  Lucas grunted, zipped around a yellow Jeep and kept his foot heavy on the pedal.

  “Like Billy Kent in the eleventh grade,” Matthew said softly.

  “Enough of that. Just tell me why you keep saying he’s not too bright.”

  “Because I don’t think the son of a bitch would think to run off with her. I really think he’s—”

  “Taking her home. Where I got the truck.”

  “Yep. Bingo.”

  “Okay, I’m headed that way and—”

  “Hold on. Don’t go.” He heard Matty click over and then he was back. “He’s headed home. That was Marcus. An old woman n a service station bathroom found a note for help in the toilet paper dispenser. Right license plate. Right description for September. Lady said she looked sick as a dog.”

  “Because she is. And I’m afraid that asshole is going to think it’s all part of some elaborate game. He said that when he called that day. Aren’t you the guy she hired to take her? So what if he thinks his part of the game is to take her back?”

  “I’ll head that way. I’ll be ten minutes.”

  “I’ll be twelve. Maybe,” Lucas said. “What about the cops?”

  “You know them. They have to check it out first. Especially since Marcus said the guy has no record. They won’t dick around too long, but they have to at least talk to the folks at the station.”

  “Right. Let’s go then.” Lucas didn’t wait for a response. He hung up and blew out a breath. Then he beat his fist on the steering wheel until his arm throbbed.

  Billy Kent had been a kid in Matthew’s junior class. It was Lucas’s first year out of high school and their dad was dead. He was legal guardian of his brother and working a part time job repoing cars. Billy Kent had suffered one too many practical jokes and half-assed beatings. Too many small indignities that had ended up shortening his fuse to the point of no return. He’d brought his father’s service pistol to school and killed four classmates and one teacher who had always defended his attackers before he turned the gun on himself.

  Everyone always said what a nice guy he was. Such a nice boy, not too bright. A good egg. Until the end, that was.

  * * * *

  I actually dozed. I’m not sure how, the fever won over the nerves. When Damien pulled into his driveway, the wheels scattering gravel up into the car’s undercarriage woke me. It sounded like someone tossing pebbles at a glass window.

  “Lucy we’re ho-ome,” he said. His whole demeanor creeped me out. Damien had always been a bit of a prima donna and a pain in the ass. Now he seemed like someone who was one step away from doing something stupid.

  “You need to let me go, Damien. Just let me call someone. A cab, even.” I could take a cab to Lucas’s house. I knew where it was. I’d wait there or I’d hit redial or I’d find Matthew. He might even be at his brother's.

  “No, no, sweetheart. You drove me crazy with this shit. Abduct me, spank me, take me, make it rough. Against my will. Non-consent! Almost, almost, almost.” He got out and yanked me from the car before I could even try to scramble to run. “I always almost had it right. And I tried. I tried, really, really fucking hard for you.”

  “I know,” I said, stumbling on the gravel and the dirt to keep up with his hurried, angry steps. “I’m sorry. You’re right, Damien.”

  You have been dominating him. By telling him to do it. By giving him a schedule. I heard Lucas in my head. I had never wished more to see a person than I wished to see Lucas Crow at that moment in time.

  “Damn fucking straight it’s your fault. You had me convinced that I couldn’t do anything right. That I was a failure. Couldn’t make Ember happy. Couldn’t give her what she wanted. Then she gets abducted. I think you set it up. You didn’t. And you’re gone! Poof! Some big goof telling me you’re his now. Like I’m a shoe that can be tossed away. Or you’re a toy that can be stolen. What the fuck?”

  “I’m sorry. I thought you’d abandoned me. Left me for dead. I thought you didn’t care and then I…” I bit my lip realizing I should stop. I shouldn’t say the rest. But I’d said too much.

  Damien literally shoved me up the wooden steps the back porch. Once upon a time, he’d done that to get me off. And I had gotten excited by it. Now I just started to cry, realizing that he had gone a little bit crazy. And that he was scaring me. “And you fell for some asshole who took my truck and my woman and then treated me like I was less than. Do you know how many times I called this phone and got your voice mail? Do you know how many times I tried to call you?” He threw the phone and it hit the wall with a thud. The back popped out and the guts flew free and
he crushed it under his boot, grinning at me as I heard the pieces tick and pop under his destructive foot.

  “But now here you are. And I want to show you how much I’ve learned.”

  He grabbed me by the front of my thermal and shook me. The world went haywire. Up and down and side to side. The whole of my existence felt like it was n a snow globe being agitated by an angry giant.

  “Damien, please. Please. I’m sorry. You deserve better. I was confused. I was trying to figure stuff out about myself.” He smacked me, hard enough to rock my head back and my vision wiggled like a bad TV picture.

  “This is not a talk show for fuck’s sake! I don’t care anymore, Ember. I don’t care. But I was a good study and we’re going to see how good.”

  “Please!” I shouted, my lips had gone numb and I was sweating. “I was trying to figure me out, Damien and you got sucked it. It was unfair! It was cruel! I am so, so sorry, please don’t hurt me. Please don’t. Don’t do anything rash,” I said. “Don’t.”

  “You’ve gotten better at your pleas, Em,” he said and I stared at his eyes. I couldn’t tell if he believed I was play acting or not. His fingers plucked at my waist band and I went limp like a doll and hung my head, moaned.

  Plan B.

  His fingers pushed down past the barrier of the elastic. I didn’t have panties on. Damien’s fingers stroked over the skin of my hips and I moaned again. Really not having to work to sound miserable. “Damien,” I said with warning in my voice.

  “What?” Now he sounded annoyed.

  “I’m going to be sick,” I said.

  “No you’re not, baby. You’re going to get fucked good and hard. Just the way you like. Don’t you worry, daddy got you back from that man and now I’m going to show you how well I took notes.”

  I moaned again, swaying a little. The sway was more pronounced than intended because I was so sick and so exhausted and now so upset my legs felt like they were going to buckle. I clutched at him and made another low pitched sound.