Angry Sex Read online

  “Or a server. Or a baker, cooker, candlestick maker. I can’t work for you, babe. I can co-parent. I can get a garden snake out of the basement. I can even fuck you so you can cope with this bullshit with Nicky, but I can’t do that. I’m fine painting and doing lawn work and all the other crap I’ve been doing to piece together money.”

  “You can take the ch—“

  “Hush,” he said, stealing her omelet. “Just don’t.”

  So she hushed, watching him eat. He was a good man. A handsome man. She often missed waking up to see him there in her bed, sleep tousled, stubbly and sporting his morning hard-on. She missed his friendship and his humor and the comfort he gave her.

  She did not miss the fighting and the barbs and the pain they inflicted on each other toward the end.

  “You know…”

  He finished off the food and eyed her, cocking an eyebrow. A habit he had that Luna had forgotten about. She’d also forgotten how it affected her physically when he did it.

  His foot, sans work boot because she’d made him take them off at the door, touched hers beneath the table. A sparkle of arousal that doused the anger shivered through her. It was harder to breathe—to think.

  “What do I know?” he asked.

  “We have time.”

  “Again?” But he smiled, blue eyes dancing with amusement. She didn’t miss that there was just a hint of sadness beneath it.

  Luna didn’t answer. She grabbed his hand and yanked him hard—hard enough that the chair wobbled like it might tip over. “Hurry.”

  Her voice had gone down to rocks and gravel. Anxiety and want and urgency all beat in her belly—a complicated pulse of emotions she couldn’t ignore.

  She didn’t make it to the bedroom. Again. First time in the living room, second in the upstairs hall on the landing. They stumbled on the steps and when he almost went down, Luna didn’t think, she pushed him back and he went willingly enough. Watching with a somewhat bemused expression as she yanked and tore at his belt and pants again.

  “Fucking help me,” she hissed. He did, but he hushed her, which both placated and angered her simultaneously.

  “Shut up, Ben,” she sighed and found his cock with her hand. She gave him three perfunctory strokes before pushing her pants down and running the hot tip of his sex along her wet slit. She needed this. Again. More. Bigger. Faster. Rougher.

  “Do it,” he growled.

  That was all Luna needed. She speared herself on him. No finessing or toying around.

  She simply slammed her body down on his, taking all of his hard length in one fell swoop. They both froze for a minute and stared at each other, but then Luna began to move.

  Were this a movie, they would have laced hands. Him pushing up from below her, her anchoring herself by pushing down. She would rock and sway and ride him artistically—

  beautifully. But this was not a movie and she gripped his shoulders too tight—knowing it was too tight—and moved her body to the chaos that she felt inside.

  Ben met her, thrust for thrust, anger for anger. His fingers bit into the meat of her hips painfully hard and when she tried to adjust at one point, he held her still, laughed cruelly and said, “No.”

  That nearly made her come right there. She leaned in and kissed him, penetrating his mouth with her tongue. Swiping at him with aggressive licks of wet flesh on wet flesh. When he bit her bottom lip, hard enough for her to wonder if that was the coppery kiss of blood in her mouth or just her imagination, she came.

  “I hate it,’ she said.

  And he nodded. He knew.

  “Me too.” Then he flipped her. Not allowing her to be on her hands and knees this time.

  He crushed her flat beneath his bulk, knocking her legs wide with his knee, driving into her without any kind of kindness.

  It was just what Luna craved.

  She came a second time, face crushed to the ugly blue carpet in her upstairs hall. His body blocking hers from moving freely, his cock driving into her depths until he simply said,

  “Jesus, Loo” and emptied with a shudder.

  Then she cried.

  * * * * *

  Ben toweled his hair dry and she did the same.

  “Christ, I forgot what that shower was like. Mine’s like being peed on by a very small dog. Barely any pressure at all,” Ben said.

  Luna snorted and shook her head. She’d showered in the basement bathroom, letting Ben have the big bathroom upstairs. She’d seen his place’s bathroom, and it was sad.

  “I’m going to go,” he said softly.

  She nodded and wrapped her hair, tucking the tail end of the towel under itself to hold it tight. “Okay.”

  “Tell him I came over. I’m afraid if he sees me after a perfectly normal night, he’ll know…” He sighed, running his hand through his wet hair. “I’m afraid the kid will pick up on how worried I am. And I am fucking worried.”

  Luna swallowed hard and smiled. “I know. Me too. And I’ll tell him you stopped by but had to go. Hot date,” she laughed, teasing him.

  But his mouth went down to a tight line, and he shook his head. “No. Don’t tell him that, Loo. It’s not true. But you know… you know why I’m leaving.”

  “I know why,” she said, feeling bad for him. “I’ll just say you waited as long as you could.”

  “And tell him to call me. I want to see him this week. We’ll go for pizza or a hike or something. He can spend the night.”

  She nodded. “Will do.”

  He kissed her and for the first time since they split, she kissed him back. There was no hope of reconciliation for them. Sometimes she still wished there was, but mostly she was just grateful they could be friends at least. And raise Nick together.

  “Take care, Ben. Call me if you need to talk.”

  He kissed her nose, ruffled her hair, winked. “You too, kid. I still love you.” Then he left.

  She set her paperwork for an upcoming office barbeque out on the dining room table and poured a glass of wine.

  She had to plot three hot appetizers, two cold appetizers, two main courses and four vegetables. The good part of the Arthur-Babcock Firm’s barbeque was they wanted old fashioned, fun and ‘barbequ-ish’ which was written on their info form. Her partner Savannah had booked the party and was currently out on a date with the office manager.

  “I think sausage balls, potato puffs, and grilled shrimp for the health nuts,” she muttered.

  “Those can be the hot apps. Cold can be fruit with fruit dip and um…” She was drawing a blank. Sipping wine, the image of her son moving against his own will and ticcing blotted out her thought process. She pushed the thought away, took a deep breath. He would be fine. This would be fine. It would all work out in the end.

  “Veg platter with yogurt based dip always works. There are a lot of health conscious folks at this firm,” she said. That was also on the info form.

  Then it could just be pit beef—a Maryland favorite—and some barbecued chicken.

  Potato salad, cole slaw, grilled Mexican corn with some nice seasoning, and cheese and vegetable kabobs with fresh local produce.

  “Add a couple dozen organic watermelons and a few cheesecakes and we’re golden,” she sighed.

  “We are?”

  Luna jumped, clutching her heart and spilling her wine. “Jesus, Nicholas, I didn’t even hear you come in.”

  Her son grinned at her—looking so much like his father in that moment— and dropped into the chair opposite. “You know why, right?”

  “Why?”

  “Cause I’m a ninja.”

  She couldn’t help but laugh. “How are you, ninja?”

  “Tired.” The smile turned to a half frown. The movement made him tired, the meds made him tired. Bottom line when his illness was active, it made him tired. Her heart hurt but she refused to focus on it.

  “Hungry?”

  “Nope.”

  “Thirsty?”

  “Nope.”

  “Wanna millio
n bucks?”

  “Sure. If you’re offering.”

  She watched him and realized he did look tired. But he also looked like a young man trying not to give into something that many people would cave to. Fear, anger, frustration, worry.

  “I’m gonna go do my impression of a vegetable. Maybe play some X-Box.”

  “Okay,” she said in a small voice and watched him go.

  Luna turned her attention back to her list. She had to focus or she’d cry again and she couldn’t sit around fucking crying.

  But she did, momentarily, wish that Ben was back. Because she could go for round three of chaotic sex, truth be told.

  She went back to her menu after cleaning up the wine and pouring a fresh glass.

  Watch that stuff. Don’t use it for solace…

  A long line of alcoholics in her family made her a bit of a drink Nazi. She liked her wine but only the right amount, highly controlled. Ben had once told her she had control issues. She asked him if he really thought that was a news flash. When the phone rang, she put down the list and picked up the cordless.

  “Oh my God, he is hung like a donkey!”

  Luna bit her lip to keep the surprised burst of laughter at bay. “Um…who is this?” she said.

  But she knew. It was Savannah and apparently Savannah had gotten lucky.

  “Don’t screw with me, sister,” Savannah snorted.

  “You slut,” Luna teased.

  “I know, I know. I had to. It’s been forever since I got a little sex injection. I needed it, baby. I needed it.”

  “Don’t feel so bad,” Luna sighed. “You’re not the only one.”

  “You…what… who! ” Savannah demanded, finally getting her thoughts straight.

  “Ben. But don’t get excited. It was just…stress release.”

  “Whatever it was, good for you,” Savannah said. “You needed it. You deserved it and…at least it was with someone you care for and trust. Right?”

  “Right,” Luna agreed softly. “So enough about that. Spill it.”

  “Well, he is tall. I told you that right?”

  “Right.”

  “And broad.”

  “Yep, I remember broad,” Luna confirmed.

  “And it’s true…”

  Luna grinned, happy to feel her amusement. It was appreciated today of all days. “What’s true?”

  “If a guy has big hands he has a big dick.”

  “Savannah!”

  “Cock?”

  Luna pushed her head to the wall and laughed. Under it lurked tears but for the moment, she’d take the laughter.

  It took Savannah fifteen minutes to tell her all about her erotic encounters.

  “Yes, encounters,” she breathed. “We did it and then we ate ice cream and did it again.”

  “Sounds pretty perfect,” Luna laughed. Her mind automatically shuffled and flipped through the moments earlier in the night where she’d been over Ben and under him. When she’d come and watched him do the same.

  Heat flared in her belly and her cheeks.

  “But that’s not all I called to tell you.”

  “No?” Something in Savannah’s tone made dread settled in Luna’s extremities.

  “Alice Brown called.”

  “Ugh. What for? Not an—“

  “An emergency.”

  Luna frowned. “She has more catering emergencies than anyone I’ve ever met.”

  “Well, it’s tomorrow and she’s offered to pay fifty percent above our normal fee. If we can scratch together wait staff and food we can swing some serious money. And since you have a bottomless pit—I mean kid—I figured…”

  Already the bill for the specialist and the meds and all the other stuff that Nick would need were racing through her head. The more money she could snag the better, especially with Ben out of steady work.

  “What kind of menu?”

  “Easy, she said. Cocktail fare. I think we could do it just fine. I can call Davey, Richard, Selma and Claire. I think we need one more, but I’m sure some of them know someone who can fill in.”

  “Hell of a time for Barbara to have her baby,” Luna said, but they both knew she was teasing.

  “What says you?”

  “When is it tomorrow?”

  “She said tomorrow night, sixish” Savannah said softly.

  “Ugh,” Luna said again. But then, “Fine. You can call wait staff?”

  “I can. Even with all this afterglow coursing through me.”

  “Dear Lord,” Luna sighed. But she smiled and it felt nice for that instant. She had a mission. Something to distract her. “I’ll get on the menu. We can do it. No problem.” She hoped.

  Chapter Three

  With all that was going on she needed to clear an evening event with Nick in case he needed her. Which he wouldn’t, she knew. The growing up was a dual edged sword. Luna loved that he was more in control, had more say in his life and health. But him not needing her the way he had once upon a time was also sad to her. Nick was her little boy and always would be—but his body and mind and will hadn’t gotten the memo and he just kept maturing no matter what.

  Half way up the steps she heard him laughing. Assuming he was on X-box Live, she pushed the door open slowly with tented fingers saying, “Knock, knock.” Only to see her parents’ smiling faces on his computer screen.

  “Mom! Dad!” Luna said, rushing forward. “Did you call to check in on the end of year grades?”

  Seeing them put a crimp in her gut. Seeing her very own parents made her feel young and in need of comfort and help. Luna swallowed hard and reflexively, warding off tears she felt rushing toward her.

  “Hey, sweetie!” Her father waved and Luna laughed. He was always so animated on the computer chats, as if he was afraid she wouldn’t see him.

  “Actually, Nicholas called us,” her mother said.

  Something in her stomach tumbled with nerves.

  She pulled up a chair. “Oh…um…”

  Nick wouldn’t meet her eyes and that made her nerves so much worse. Her hand went to his thigh and she squeezed. “What’s up, Nick?”

  Her voice was a whisper and it was steeped in fear. Even she could hear it. Her parents went silent but looked calm.

  “I was just talking to Grammy and Pop and saying maybe…” He shrugged.

  Luna had to fight not to squeeze his leg too hard. Her nerves were shot and even the after effects of her time alone with Ben had fled in the face of this weirdness. Her eyes shot to the screen. “Well, someone tell me so I don’t just sit here having an anxiety attack…” Her father smiled and said, “Listen, lightning bug…”

  She started crying. Samuel Shore only said “lightning bug” when he was trying to break uncomfortable news.

  “Don’t cry, Luna!” Her mother laughed softly and Luna imagined if she could have, her mother would have reached through the screen to pat her hand. “Nick just had a question for us and we’ve agreed to it. If it’s okay with you.”

  “Which we hope it is,” her dad said.

  “Oh God,” Luna said, scrubbing her face with her hands. “Someone just tell me, so I can stop having a heart attack.”

  Nick kissed her face and laughed. “Mom, you are so dramatic.” That made her laugh and they all waited. Luna laughed until the tears and the nervous energy passed, spasm after spasm of giggles wracking her body until she was done. Finally, she eyed them all, feeling very much like the odd woman out. “What is it?”

  “I want to go stay in Pennsylvania for summer break. I can stay there. Help Pop with the farm. Maybe do some work for money for other people and just be away from the city.” From you…Luna shook off the thought. She knew her son loved her. She knew that was her worry talking.

  “But…”

  “We have a wonderful neurologist in town. Friends with him, even,” her mother said.

  “He comes to our parties. Doctor Brad. And we think it would be a good mental health break for Nick. To get away from town and come work u
nder an open sky and all that good stuff.”

  “Good for the soul!” her dad said.

  “We just wish you could come too,” her mom said. “Is there any chance you cou—“ Luna shook her head. “Nope. But if that’s what Nick needs and wants, who am I to say no. Of course he can. He can spend the whole break there if he wants.” Her heart was breaking.

  Her dad studied her and even through the screen and many miles, Luna felt like he could read her entire self. “Nicky. Can we talk to your mom for a few moments?” Nick nodded, pushed back his chair and kissed the top of her head before leaving his own room. “Call me when you’re done, Ma.”

  “I will,” Luna whispered.

  She faced her parents and wished they were here instead of on a flat screen. The background of their deck and the wine on the patio table said they were relaxing with their laptop. She wanted to feel serene. She wanted to feel relaxed. Anything but the clawing anxiety in her gut.

  “So, he wants to come there,” she said, keeping her voice steady.

  “Oh, Luna,” Patty Shore sighed.

  “Ma, don’t.” Luna shook her head, swallowed hard. “Don’t make me cry!”

  “I think you have that covered.”

  Then she was laughing and crying and wiping her nose. Very uncool.

  “He needs a change of scenery, I think,” her dad said. Always the voice of reason. “He’s dealing pretty well with the reemergence of his symptoms. He’s dealing pretty well with the new meds and the fact that he’ll be on them more often if he wants relief.”

  “Honey, he’s dealing pretty well,” her mother said. “Which means you have done your job superbly. You and Ben. Great parents.”

  She nodded. “So why leave?”

  “Sometimes we all need a change and he thinks that working the farm and hanging out here and seeing some of the kids who he sees when you come visit would be nice. And you know Joshua lives out here and—“