Restricted Release Read online

  “They look good to me,” she said, pinching me then. The pinch made me jerk beneath her and she smiled like some beautiful mischievous goddess.

  “Let’s see how they taste, okay?” she asked.

  I swallowed hard and my throat clicked. Words escaped me so I nodded. It was all I could do. And then I watched her bend forward, her slender neck flexing, her dark hair curtaining her eyes. Her tongue, a darker pink than her lips, slid out to lap at me. When the moisture hit my skin my back bowed and my pussy gave up a rush of fluid.

  Her lips latched on to me and she sucked greedily, drawing on my flesh so every nerve ending in my body leapt to life in sympathy. My stomach trembled with it and she drew on me again. A single tear slipped free of my eye. I didn’t know where it came from and I didn’t care. It was what it was.

  She looked up at me and she said, “They taste good. They’re pretty and damn near perfect, I have to say.” She pushed her fingertip to my lower lip and I didn’t pause to consider. I sucked the tip into my mouth, playing on it like it was her nipple that I was tasting.

  “Good. That’s good,” she said.

  My whole body relaxed with joy. I was so ridiculously proud of earning this woman’s praise.

  “You know, Matty has never asked me for anything like this. Ever. And we’ve been friends since grade school.”

  My tension returned when she brought him up.

  “Relax,” Nadia cooed and her mouth returned to my breasts, lapping and sucking and biting until I lost my worry and relaxed again. “There’s nothing between me and him. And I like boys and girls,” she chuckled, kissing lower. Her mouth dropping soft butterfly kisses just under my breasts. My stomach muscles danced and rippled from the sensation.

  “Oh,” I said. Because that was a fucking brilliant thing to say.

  “I mean, don’t get me wrong. Me and Matt have…fooled around. Friends with benefits and all that jazz, but really no big deal. But that was ages ago. And then I get a call about this perfect, pretty Clara. This woman who is in his head—big-time.”

  Nadia dropped to her knees and my internal muscles clenched with arousal. She dragged my yoga pants down slowly, letting me feel her hot breath on my hipbones, my belly. Letting me anticipate and want.

  I made a sound that wasn’t a word or a plea. It was the sound of unadulterated arousal.

  “And he wants me to help her see how fucking gorgeous she is. He says, ‘She’s smart and funny and kind and yes, hot.’ You’re hot, Clara. Do you not know that, doll face?”

  My yoga pants were down around my mid-thighs and she left them there, binding me so that I couldn’t widen my stance. Nadia pressed her parted lips to my sex. She simply let the heat of her mouth invade my nether lips. She didn’t lick or suck or anything. She just kept her lips pressed to me and I became aware of the humidity from her breath. The hard ridge of her teeth pressed to my mound. The feel of her small strong hands on my thighs was distracting.

  A tiny little sob escaped me and I bristled. I hadn’t known it was coming. I pushed my fingers gently into her thick black hair and finally I broke. “No, I don’t know I’m hot. I mean I don’t think I am.” My knees dipped weakly and I broke more. “Please,” I sighed.

  Nadia pushed her tongue to me. Parting my outer lips, lapping at me, licking a heated line along my hood and finding my clitoris so that my shaking fingers scrabbled at the cool plaster wall. She pushed her hands against me harder and pinned me there. She was stronger than she looked. Her mouth sucked at me and that feeling of being drawn on filled me again. That tugging sensation. But this time it shot from cunt to breast and my insides tumbled with it.

  “Relax,” she said, pushing her hands high so that she was now pinning me with the pressure to my hipbones. “Let me make you feel good, Clara. Trust me. Trust Matt.”

  I took a deep breath and pressed my back to the wall. I kept my fingers curled in her soft silken hair and let my legs fall open farther. Just as much as my yoga pants would allow.

  She pulled back for a moment, her lips and face slick from my juices. Her eyes a bit glazed in the dim light. “You taste like raw sugar,” she said.

  I cocked my head. I had had no idea what I tasted like.

  “Sweet,” she said and then she settled her mouth back on me. Drawing on me, licking at me, nudging my swollen clit with the tip of her tongue until my grip in her hair tightened and she sucked at me more aggressively. When I tugged her hair she nipped my clitoris with sharp teeth and I was coming. Sobbing in my usually lonely foyer. Having my very loud, very intense first orgasm from a woman.

  I slid down the wall slowly, the spasms still shooting through my pelvis, wringing delicious pleasure from me.

  Nadia sat back on her haunches, wiped her face and grinned. “I guess I should call Matt and let him know we’ve met.”

  My breath was gone. My heart was racing. All I could do was nod.

  * * * * *

  “So you met, then?” We could see Matt through the window and I wanted to press my hand to the glass and have him do the same. The way he had the other day and before I’d turned my back on him.

  My body still felt warm and pliant, my mind still soupy and slow. We were on speakerphone with him and Nadia gave him a finger wave through the window. He was wearing a rust-colored tee and faded jeans today. He looked warm and sleepy and yummy.

  I wondered why I was doing this at all. And then I remembered still feeling shy and ugly and ashamed in front of him and the fear that swept in when he expressed affection for me. I needed this. He had suggested it and we’d work it out. It would work—it had to.

  It was by far the weirdest thing I’d ever done. And yet…I was still onboard.

  “We have. And I need to know, Matthew Dyson Millen, what is going on? What are the hard-core parameters of this little shindig you’ve set up?”

  “That’s up to Clara. Is she still in?”

  Nadia turned to me and through the window I could see him staring at us. The meager amount of space between our houses became clear again. It felt like I could reach out and touch him.

  “I think she’s thinking,” Nadia said, “though I feel a little bit hurt considering how I greeted her.”

  She winked at me and I made a strangled noise. “I’m in,” I said quietly.

  He smiled. “Okay, good.”

  “I’m definitely in. She’s…appealing,” Nadia said and I blushed. “But let’s talk about you.”

  “What about me?” Matt asked.

  “Are you in this?” Nadia asked.

  I had assumed he was. I had assumed, but I did not actually know.

  “That’s up to Clara,” Matt said.

  “Me?” I wheezed.

  “Yes, you. You decide if Nadia is just for you or for both of us. And I’d like to be on speakerphone and I’d like to be able to see when you’re together. Since we’re so damn close.”

  Part of me didn’t want him to touch another woman, part of me wanted to see them together. Part of me wanted him to feel what I had. I was so confused but when I opened my mouth I said, “For both of us. I don’t think it’s fair for it just to be me.”

  “Ah, but sometimes, Clara, it doesn’t need to be fair,” Matt said.

  “For both of us,” I said again. I wouldn’t change my mind.

  “Fine by me,” Nadia I said. “I could go for another round of Matthew.”

  Another surge of jealousy flared inside me and I tamped it down. “Okay.”

  “Are you okay, Clara?” Matt asked, his voice deep and kind even on a speakerphone.

  “I’m jealous,” I said bluntly.

  He pushed his hand to the glass then finally and my heart leapt. I pushed my hand to the cool glass in front of me. “Good,” Matthew whispered. “Because it means you care.”

  Nadia chuckled softly. “Oh boy, chick, does Mr. Millen have it bad for you.”

  “Hush, Nadia,” Matt said but then said, “It’s true though, I pretty much do. I just need Clara to accept
it. And to accept me. And herself.”

  “We’re working on that,” Nadia said, wrapping her arms around me from behind. Her lips pressed down against the side of my throat and she licked the thumping skin above my pulse.

  “You’ll show her how pretty she is?” Matt asked.

  “I will,” Nadia assured him.

  “You’ll touch her the way I’d touch her?” he asked, his voice throaty.

  “I will, I will,” she said. Her fingers toyed over my yoga pants. Nadia found the seam of my sex and played her fingers along the split of me. Driving the fabric of my leggings against the wetness of my pussy. She found my clitoris with her finger and pressed.

  My knees dipped a little and my fingers curled to the glass. I sighed and blurted it out. I didn’t even think about it. “I don’t think I’ll ever feel pretty. I don’t.”

  My throat grew thick with emotion and I swallowed hard to keep from crying. It was true. Every time I bordered on feeling the way I once had when I was younger and saner and bolder, my fear and my worry and self-criticism rose up in me and crushed my efforts. I remembered to be broken and beaten and ugly. I remembered to stay in my place and count my calories. Chew three hundred times until whatever was in my mouth was liquid. To push my food around until I couldn’t stand it anymore before taking a bite. To let things get cold sometimes because they didn’t taste as good and I wouldn’t want them.

  “How about you make her feel pretty, Nadia?” Matt said, his voice smoke and vapors.

  It was in my head, his voice. In my gut and in my cunt and winding its way steadily into my heart. My soul perked up when he spoke, and when I thought of him touching me, it soared.

  It was a dangerous thing, my connection with him. Too much, too fast, and yet—I craved it when I was honest with myself.

  “I can do that,” she said. Her pretty slim hand found its way into my pants and she slid her finger along my slit. I was still wet from earlier and the rich musky scent of my previous orgasm filled my head.

  “In fact I have just the thing if you’re game. I want you to put your hands up there on the glass. Both of them.”

  I did it and prayed no one was on the roof looking down. It was really the only way for anyone to see me but for Matt. He could see all of me but for the window frame that cut the glass in half. He could see her pushed up tight against me. Her hands in my pants. The look on my face. And I could see all of him. Handsome him pulling a tall-backed stool up to the windowpane and taking a seat to watch.

  “Actually, raise your hands like you’re under arrest,” she said loud enough for him to hear.

  I did it.

  She slipped my tee over my head, mussing my hair. It fell in a crazy halo around my face. I was bare and chilled and then she pressed my palms flat to the window again.

  “Check out those perky pretty tits, Matty,” Nadia said and left the room.

  I was breathing like I might cry.

  “Just be calm, Clara. They really are perfect. You worry too much. You are so…spectacular.”

  And then I did cry because I wanted so badly to believe him but it felt so much like a lie to me.

  She came back with her purse and I turned my head to watch her. She dug around and came up with a large drawstring bag made of blue velvet. The song started to wind its way through my head.

  She wore blue velvet…

  What she pulled out of the bag made my mouth drop open and my cheeks color. I mean I hadn’t been living under a rock. I knew they existed but…

  She laughed and winked. “I won’t hurt you. I won’t even put it anywhere you don’t want me to.”

  I swallowed hard. My tears were gone, replaced by shock.

  It was long and curved, a dark-blue cock mounted to a holster. Not a holster. A harness. It was a strap-on and suddenly I wanted her to use it on me so badly—while Matt watched—that my mouth went dry. My heart raced.

  “Ah, Matty, the shock and fear has been replaced by lust. She looks very interested.” Nadia kicked off her boots and shoved down her jeans.

  “Oh yeah?” Matt asked. His voice was filtering through the phone but his eyes stayed pinned on me across the distance. It had started to snow.

  “Speak up, Clara. Am I right?” she asked, pushing down red-and-blue rugby-striped boyshorts. Under them her pussy was shaved bare and a small chocolate mole rode high on her right hip. I wanted to push my tongue to it.

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  “What was that, Clara?” Matt asked. He was leaning forward in his stool.

  “Yes,” I said louder. “I want it. Her. I want her to use it on me.” It took all of my bravery to say that.

  “Good God, she’s a mindfuck,” Nadia said. She stripped off her belt and her tee and came toward me, her breast bigger, heavier and darker than mine. Her nipples were the color of good strong coffee. “You are a mindfuck, you know that, Clara?”

  I watched her, licking my lips as she strapped herself into the harness. The cock jutted forward boldly. She pressed her naked length against the back of me and I felt her heat. The pounding of her heart to my back. The feel of her breath, hot on my skin.

  “Problem,” Matt said.

  “Yeah?” Nadia asked, cupping my breasts and making me squirm.

  “She still has pants on,” he said.

  “That is a problem,” Nadia said and pushed my pants down.

  A strangled little noise slipped out of me and I shifted, my knees feeling made of wet tissue paper and bubble gum. “Stay still, sweetie,” she whispered. But her hands came around my waist and she splayed her small fingers along my hipbones.

  “Can you see us, Matty?”

  “I can.”

  “Gotta love these windows,” she said.

  “Part of why I bought the house,” he said conversationally. There was only the slightest hitch in his voice to give away his arousal.

  The cock Nadia wore nudged between my thighs. I felt the cool kiss of silicone to my nether lips. My breath was a shuddering thing in my face and chest.

  “Do you like your windows, Clara?” she asked softly. Her voice said she was wooing me, trying to draw me out and it brought heat to my cheeks.

  “I do.”

  Nadia pushed her hip to my butt. I was forced to take a step forward. She did it with her left hipbone and I moved my left foot forward. I watched Matt watching us and realized that the phallus was fully peeking through my thighs now. Its curved length was riding the split of my pussy. From his angle the jaunty blue tip must be peeking between my legs as if I had a vibrantly colored dick.

  For some reason this struck me as funny and I laughed, shaking softly in Nadia’s embrace.

  “She’s a giggler.”

  “Sometimes,” Matt said. “Usually it’s nerves.”

  I wanted to feel irritated or even offended that they were discussing me this way. Instead I felt oddly reassured, like I was surrounded by people who understood me.

  “What shall we do in your old-fashioned kitchen?” Nadia asked me. She moved her body so the dildo slipped and withdrew, slipped and withdrew between my legs. Mesmerizing was a good word for it.

  “I don’t know.” My voice was barely there.

  “Speak up please, Clara,” Matt said as if we were in math class and I was mumbling.

  “I don’t know!” I said louder.

  “Don’t you?” She cupped my ass and squeezed. She wiggled her hips and the dildo mashed to my slick opening.

  “I…”

  “Would you like me to fuck you with my pretty blue dick?” Nadia suggested helpfully.

  I chewed my lip and nodded. My eyes darted to a smiling, handsome Matt. Right then I wanted him so much then that I almost called it off. My fingers curled to the cold glass and snow slipped along the panes, leaving teardrop streaks.

  But I wanted her too and truth be told, even to myself, I wanted to see where this whole thing went. I wanted to experience Nadia and maybe break free of the stuff that held me back in my own soul
—my dents and my damage.

  “Yes,” I said, clearing my throat and forcing my voice louder so Matt could hear me.

  There was a pause. I sighed and Nadia rumbled like a predatory cat and Matt made a desperate noise. All those sounds together touched something off in me that had me wetter than I could remember being.

  “So, Matthew, do you want me to mash her to the window so you can see this gorgeous face? Or do you want profile so you can see actual penetration?”

  Even over the distance I could see the rapid rise and fall of his breath.

  “Just like she is. I want to see her face. Watch me, Clara, okay? Keep your eyes open.”

  I nodded. Nervous. Terrified. Turned-on so much my nipples ached with it. I watched his handsome face as Nadia kicked my legs apart more. Her cool fingers, fingers that had already touched me to the release of orgasm, parted me from behind. Her middle finger rubbing my clitoris with my own juices. She parted me and nudged me with the tip of her silicone cock.

  “Are you scared?” His voice was smoke through the phone.

  “Yes,” I said.

  Nadia angled me a little and I pushed my forehead to the cold pane, keeping my eyes wide open and on Matt.

  “And you’re still doing it? Good girl,” he said.

  My breath fogged the glass and I pulled back a bit so I could see. “You need to get off too,” I said boldly. A sparkle of rebellion lit me up on the inside. I’d never said anything like that, I thought. At least not for a very long time.

  Not since I’d lost myself.

  “Here we go, pretty,” Nadia said, pressing her generous mouth to my ear. Her breath was all snow and mint and something sweet.

  I shut my eyes before remembering my promise. I forced them open as she forced into me. The slow and easy slide of the cock was luscious. Knowing it was not a man, not my toy…nothing I had ever done. A beautiful woman wearing a strap-on was fucking me. Fucking me… nearly shut-in, screwed-up-in-the-head, almost-hermit girl.

  I laughed wildly and pushed my palms to the window harder.