sommer marsden learning to drown-CALIBRE Read online

  "The so what is I told you not to. And you knew, too, didn't you?"

  I nodded, trying desperately to swallow a bite of lettuce. "Sort of."

  "Yes or no, Ember."

  "Yes," I said, because it truly was more yes than no.

  "Come here, then." He pointed to his lap and my stomach bottomed out like I was on a roller coaster ride.

  I stood, thankful at least that I didn't have to try and eat. I couldn't manage it. I walked to Lucas and stood, his breath slipping over the skin above my panties.

  "Kneel, Ember," he said. “Over my lap.”

  I dropped to my knees, draped my belly over his knees, praying that it would not hurt as bad, knowing it would and relishing it still.

  "It was me," Matthew said.

  From fucking with me to sticking up for me in twenty-four hours. Go figure.

  "Okay, how many do you think you deserve?" Lucas asked.

  Matthew froze. "You are not spanking me, brother. I will kick your ass."

  "I never said I was spanking you. I asked you how many you thought you deserved for doing what I asked you not to do."

  Matthew shrugged. "Twenty? Twenty-five? With your fucked up sense of chivalry and loyalty, who knows. What you gonna have Ember give them to me? Now we're talking."

  "Is it twenty or twenty-five, Matthew?" Lucas asked. As he went back and forth with his brother, he ran his palm across my bottom. His hand whispered on the plum colored silk. His touch, not too firm and not too soft was heaven. I shut my eyes, sinking into the feel of him petting me that way.

  "Twenty," I heard Matthew say.

  "Good." And when the first blow landed, my head shot up and my eyes flew wide. I screamed, being suddenly pulled from the hypnotic feel of his touch.

  "I thought you said me!" Matthew yelled, his face red with anger. He banged his fists on the coarse wooden table and started to rise.

  By then Lucas was on blow three and I could feel his handprints rising on my skin, a red remembrance of disobedience.

  "These are yours, but I figured you wouldn't mind having Ember take them in your stead. I mean, obviously, she's no big deal. She shouldn't be. I ask you to leave her alone and you kiss her. You insist I share. You treat her like a shoe. I tried to explain that she's different. And you don't listen. So what difference does it make if she takes your punishment? The punishment earned by you taken by the woman you don't even like." Lucas paused and looked down at me. Hot tears tracked down my cheeks and I shook a little on his lap. But it had not escaped my notice that his hands were soothing again and my pussy was so wet I felt confused. A raging mass of nerve endings and a stark beating need in my groin. "How many was that, September?"

  "Eight," I gasped.

  "Good. Only twelve more to go. You can thank my brother later." Then he continued the blows, alternating cheeks and pressure as I squirmed and kicked. On blow thirteen he pushed his fingers under the crotch of my panties and sank his fingers deep. Three fingers flexed and pushed in the wet pool of my pussy until I had to bite my lip to keep from coming. Coming would be bad, I thought. Coming just now would make him angry.

  "Don't do it. Good girl. I can feel you right on the edge there. Do not give in." He accented the last few words with the hardest blows yet. The force rocked up my spine. I felt it in my teeth and I felt the empty place where his fingers had been almost like my body was grieving.

  "Oh, Lucas. I..." I had to think of other things. I had to focus. He moved to the bottoms of my cheeks, right at the upper thigh. The last three blows were different then. Shorter and sharper and they resonated like flesh and blood tuning forks. The force going down to the backs of my knees so that my breath died in my lungs and my throat seemed to shrink.

  "Now. That's out of the way. You can thank Matthew."

  I raised my head, licking salty tears off my face. I said, "Thank you, Matthew" as my heartbeat pounded in my ass cheeks and my thighs.

  Matthew looked angry, stricken, utterly confused.

  "Now, then, boys and girls. Let's talk about Matthew," Lucas said and smiled.

  Chapter 21

  Lucas rose, pulling me with him. "I think the way that my brother can understand his bad manners is if he walks a mile in your shoes."

  I stared at Matthew and blinked. He gave no indication that he understood where Lucas was going with this.

  Lucas pulled my wrists behind my back, looping his long strong fingers around my wrists he bound me loosely in his grasp and hustled me forward. "Come on, brother," he said casually, propelling me through the door and into the living room.

  I didn't turn my head but I heard Matthew's loping gait as Lucas pushed me ahead of him. Not too rough, but hard enough to make it clear that he was in charge. I felt the warm pool of fluid in the gusset of my plum colored silk. My cheeks flushed at the thought of my arousal. I was still confused when I tried to analyze it. The spanking had left me warm and plump with want. My brain raced with what would happen when we got upstairs. Or possibly, with what would not happen. With Lucas, I never could tell.

  He pushed me to the bed and I landed with a dirty kind of grace, I turned to see brother face brother, Matthew's eyes darting from Lucas to me and back again.

  "I think maybe you need to cool off. I realize she's not the average¾"

  Lucas cut his brother off. "She's not the average anything. To me or to you, it seems. If you're racing ahead when I tell you not to, apologizing and kissing. Well, hell, little brother, that says a lot right there. So you should have no problem taking her submission for a bit. For her. The special, special girl." Lucas's smile was intense. At a glance it looked average enough, but on second look the anger that simmered just below the surface was visible. A gorgeous kind of rage that accented his handsome features in an almost frightening manner.

  I opened my mouth to argue, or ask, I wasn't sure which but a quick shake of Matthew's head had me snapping my mouth shut again. He was warning me off, and since he had been with Lucas for a lifetime, I trusted his instinct.

  "I don't do submission," Matthew said, his voice dark.

  "Not even for her?" Lucas asked.

  "Not for anyone."

  "Here are the options. We send her home for good or you take a quick tour of bottoming. That's the choice."

  My heart bottomed out. Send me home for good? Set me loose and abandon me. I mean, I was a grown woman. I ran a business. I had recently been bossing around the man I was with, telling him what he needed to do to get me off. But now, when Lucas said those words, an invisible, hollow kind of wound opened in my gut and my body ached right along with my heart. I silently prayed that Matthew would just this one time submit. Just this once, so I could stay.

  Matthew gritted his teeth and the muscles in his jaw jumped and bucked under his tan stubbled skin. I held my breath, awaiting my fate. While he waited, Lucas ran his hands along the back of my thighs, down my calves. He stroked me the same way I had seen men stroke vintage cars or motorcycles. My heart pounded so hard that I could hear my blood in my ears, the rush of my pulse and I bit the inside of my lip, waiting.

  "Fine. I'll play your game, Lucas. But at some point, I'll get you. You know I will. Whether it's a sucker punch after too many beers or..."

  "Yeah. Got it," Lucas laughed. He looked at me. "Tell him what to do."

  I shook my head, real fear filling the pit of my stomach. Tell him what to do? How did I know what to tell him to do?

  "I um..."

  "Nothing happens if you don't play, Ember. We're role reversing. He's going to be the sub and you're going to be him. Maybe you won't be such an asshole in your role of Dom."

  I turned to Matthew, my heart racing.

  "Sit in the chair," I said, putting as much steel in my voice as I could. Which wasn't much. It almost sounded like a question.

  Matthew smirked at me, but I thought the hostility in his look was more for his brother. But he sat. Dropped his ass in the small black chair by the bed like his legs had come unhinged. "Yes,
Ma'am." The words were clipped and begrudging.

  Lucas grunted. Pushed his hands under the silken covering of my panties. He gripped my ass and rubbed, his strong fingers biting and kneading into my skin so that I groaned without thinking. Liquid heat flooded my muscles and I realized how good it felt when he touched me, even when my flesh was sore. Not necessarily sexually, just a touch. A normal touch was enough to shift my body's perception of its surroundings. He laid me down on my belly. Tension bled into release. Tightness morphed into a hot lazy feeling. I shivered, holding my breath as the tips of his fingers kissed the moist entrance of my body. He pushed just a fingertip in and I didn't breathe, letting the slowing pound of my heart echo in my ears.

  "Take these off," he said, his mouth coming down on the back of my thigh. My heartbeat was so strong I felt it in my belly, where my skin pressed to the white sheets. Each heart beat jumped my stomach muscles against the flat of the mattress. I shimmied out of my panties, having to work my hips more because I rested on my front. I wiggled and kicked until they were gone and all I could feel was each hot breath that escaped Lucas wafting over my skin. Matthew made a soft sound that was half grunt, half sigh. His eyes drifted shut and his hands moved.

  "Don't you dare touch yourself," I said without thinking.

  Matthew narrowed his eyes at me, his face clouded with annoyance, but he obeyed. Lucas gave a soft laugh behind me, leaning in close he said “What shall we do Ember? I’ll take suggestions. Might not happen, but I’m happy to listen.”

  I turned my head to him feeling overwhelmed and a bit wobbly, but oddly powerful too. I whispered but it was loud enough for Matthew to hear. “I think you should fuck me the way he would. The way he described. I think you should fuck me from behind and so hard that I can’t tell up from down.” My voice was a bit watery but I meant what I said and my body responded to my suggestion by opening and flexing for Lucas to take me. I felt the warm rush of my own fluids and I bit my lip, waiting. Eyes darting from one brother to the other.

  “Not like we did last night, then?” HIs voice was dark, almost gloating. His words a reminder to me, a warning to his brother. I was Lucas’s. Until he said otherwise.

  Lucas’s eyes glittered with malicious joy. Matthew looked pale and cross. Lucas gave me one hard nod and without preamble stuck his fingers into my pussy. They slipped inside easily and he sighed. “You are so ready. Let’s leave this pretty bra on since Matty picked it out. We’ll just make an adjustment…” Lucas reached around and pulled the cups so they rested under my breasts, thrusting them higher than they were already trussed. “There we go.” Then he circled my wet pussy with the tip of his cock so I squirmed. “What about brother?” he asked me, his partner in crime.

  “No touching,” I said again and then pushed my ass back toward Lucas, eyes pinned to truculent Matthew in the corner. Watching but with no relief.

  He was deep in me, thrusting hard when he asked, “Who overwhelmed you? Who heaped too much upon you?”

  I shook my head as best I could with my head pressed to the mattress. Not now, not now…

  The spank landed with the sting of a thousand wasps and I flipped my head back sobbing. The endorphins kicked in a blissful thumping heat replaced the painful sting. “No,” I said. Something I had never said to him thus far.

  “Who made you feel like you had to carry the world strapped to your back?”

  I lowered my head, shoulders straining, refused to answer. I could feel them both watching me. Two looming dark presences. Fallen angels, talented demons, affectionate predators. Whichever you chose, the brothers were truly a mixed bag. Trustworthy and loyal and jealous and angry. Pick one, pick them all, mix and match! I laughed at my own internal dialogue. Earned myself another good smack on the ass, but Luke’s cock was pressing hard and the tip of him was nudging my G-spot to a place of deep and welcome relief.

  And yet I said “No.”

  “Who September?” Matthew this time. Soft voice from a hard guy. It startled me so much tears came to my eyes but I remembered my power.

  “No, you, shut up.”

  He shook his head, his eyes unreadable. His gaze going from his brother to me to my breasts trailing over the bright white sheets. The most surreal porn movie ever, I thought and laughed again.

  Lucas stilled. His cock still deep in me, filling me. His big workman’s hands smoothing over my hot, pulsing bottom. I shut my eyes, swaying on my knees, trying to move against him but he stayed still like a stone, not allowing me any relief. “Who?” he said again.

  I shook my head. My whole body had taken up a fine tremor as I tried to push my emotions back down. I wanted to confess. I wanted to give him what he wanted, beg him to finish me off, I wanted him to know so that I wouldn’t be the only one to know any more. But I shook my head and refused.

  “Then we’re done.” Lucas started to pull free and Matthew shook his head, gritting his teeth.

  “No, please,” I blurted.

  Lucas’s fingers gripped my hips hard, I would wake with his fingerprints on my skin tomorrow, I knew. “Then tell me. You need to tell someone. Have you ever?” He moved just an inch, maybe only a fraction of an inch but enough to remind my body of how much it craved him.

  I shook my head again and a small sob bubbled out of me surprising even me.

  “Tell him, Ember. Tell us,” Matthew said. His eyes were almost kind, which did something to my heart considering how much I had hated him just the day before.

  Lucas moved again, bumping that desperate bundle of nerves deep inside of me. My pussy clenched up tight around him, wanting more, seeking more. “Tell me.”

  “My mother!” I blurted. “My mother was a drunk! A total fucking drunk!” Now that I was talking, it came out of me in a an angry rush of words. Rage made my voice something more like a bark than a voice. “She woke up and started drinking. She could barely get her shit together to come to school events. And when she did I always ended up wishing she hadn't.”

  Lucas was moving again. His hands soothing the stinging skin he had just punished, his cock surging deep, his thrusts controlled so that he kept me just on edge without letting me come. I looked at Matthew, so intent on my words he’d forgotten about his own pleasure.

  “Go on,” Lucas said, gently pinching the stinging skin on my bottom so that a small fresh blip of pain accented my pleasure and I gasped.

  “I raised myself. I didn’t want anyone to know. My father died when she was pregnant with me, but she was never…” I put my head down, the words I was pushing out of my mouth too heavy for me. I felt suffocated and crushed with this unwanted emotion.

  “She was never a mother to you,” Matthew said, understanding me. He nodded, his dark eyes going to his brother and then back to me. “But you had no one to step in and take over.”

  “So you raised yourself,” Lucas said almost tenderly. The shift in his voice made all the tiny hairs along the back of my spine rise up. It sounded like love, that sound in his voice. But that was impossible—and I knew—wishful thinking.

  “Yes. I raised myself. I made my lunch, set an alarm. Checked her every morning to make sure she hadn’t choked to death on her own vomit. I signed my own papers and monitored my own grades. I made sure she got the bills and I stood there when she paid them. Up until five I had been partially raised by my mother’s sister. She came and stayed with us off and on.”

  “A surrogate mother,” Matthew whispered. His eyes were on his brother, moving in and out of me. I dropped my head and shoulders, shoving my ass high, letting him watch.

  “Yes, a surrogate mother who kind of taught me what it all should be like. I even went to stay with her on summer breaks or when my mother got so bad. But then she got ill and couldn’t help. She died when I was twenty.”

  “And you kept it so that no one knew. So that no one could help you. Because you kept it all together and so hush,” Lucas said with absolutely no judgment in his voice.

  I nodded and now the tears did start.
Not great giant swooping sobs like I expected but soundless tears rolling down my cheeks.

  “Turn on your back. Come on now,” Lucas said and pulled free of me.

  I glanced at Matthew as I turned. “You may touch yourself, Matthew. You may come. I have no interest in telling you what to do.” And I meant it. Right now I had zero interest in being in charge.

  Lucas laid me back like a honeymoon lover. I watched him, waiting for the play, waiting for the punishment of letting Matthew off that easy. “Spread you legs,” he said, pushing them wide even as he said it. Lucas, rubbed the length of my hole, making me crazy, making me gasp. I was swollen and ready and so, so close. I knew it and so did he.

  “Lucas,” I said but that was all. Just his name. Like a password.

  “Now you’re going to come about two seconds after I slide into you, girl. We both know it. You’ve been on the edge for a while now.” His lips came down on my forehead, my shoulder, he bit my collar bone just enough to make me breathe out a deep stuttering breath.

  “May I?” I asked without thinking.

  He was telling me I would but the question to me at that moment, as my body seemed to hum, eager and desperate for release, was I allowed to?

  “You may. But when you’re done, listen to me. Don’t get lost in it. Listen to my instructions. Got it?”

  “Yes,” I said and was shocked but pleased when he bent and kissed me with a tender sweep of his plump lips over mine.

  I could hear Matthew in the corner. I could hear the whispering sound of his hand on his cock. I could hear the callused ridges of his palms moving over the silken head of his cock. It was a secret sound and the fact that he was here to see my undoing was somehow appropriate and seductive.

  Lucas slid into me slowly. My body gulping and grasping at his invasion. My hips sidled up to his hips, my cunt taking him deep and with three thrusts, his hands holding my shoulders flush to the mattress, I came. I came and he kissed me with an open mouth, swallowing the bulk of my cries, stifling my verbal release. In my mind it was like he was tasting my soul. Swallowing my cries to feel what I felt. Eating my sounds to make me more his. The last spasms worked through me and he moved more softly to give me time to steady.